


Upon my liar's chair

by SwirlsOfBlueJay



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Loki-centric, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-01-17 19:23:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12372390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwirlsOfBlueJay/pseuds/SwirlsOfBlueJay
Summary: Loki has the throne and is on a quest to collect the infinity stones. His only obstacle is Tony Stark.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Italics are flashbacks. Non-italics are present day.

_Loki’s surprised when he wakes. He didn’t expect to survive the fall from the Byfrost. His survival fills him with more disappointment than relief. He doesn’t know what to do next. There’s no point in anything anymore. The picture of his father telling him ‘no’ is burned onto the back of his eyelids. He did everything, he shredded his very self, to prove he could still be what Odin needed (even after the pain and betrayal of finding out he was nothing but a pawn). And it meant nothing._

_Loki doesn’t know where he is, but finds an empty area and calls quietly, “Heimdall.”_

_He’s not sure why he’s calling home. There’s nothing there for him. He should just stay here, stay dead; leave it all behind. Start anew. It’s part curiosity, to find whether his family will even bother to let him home. But also that there’s been too much change, too much hurt, already and Loki needs an anchor. He needs something. Just one point of commonality. Even if he never enters the palace again and lives as an Asgardian gardener or something. He needs to go home._

_Loki calls quietly a few more times. There’s no answer. He takes a breath, refuses to let tears form. It’s only when he sees the stars that he realises why. He’s very, very far from home. This isn’t anywhere near the nine realms. Well, it seems he’s stuck here._

_Loki looks around the place despondently, cautiously observing and listening to find out what he can. The first thing he learns is the name of this place: ‘Knowhere.’_

*

Loki walks towards one of the disused dining halls of the palace. It’s too small for feasts or celebrations and too large for a private meal. There are many rooms that serve its purpose better. This means few expect him to be supping there, and this Loki likes. He is careful to take time to himself to lower his mask; not literally of course, it will be a while before he risks being in Asguard wearing anything other than the Allfather’s face. But at least in that room there are no mannerisms to affect, words to imitate, actions to replicate. He’s looking forward to the respite. But as he sees the man on royal guard duty for the night he gets a better idea.

“Come, join me,” Loki says.

The guard bows deferentially and follows him into the hall where the food is already laid out. Loki has insisted upon serving himself in the evening. So it is only the two of them present.

“Sit,” Loki commands.

“Your Grace?” the guard questions.

Loki glares imperiously, allowing the man to squirm for a few precious seconds before answering, “Come, it’s fine, there’s no threat here I need protecting from and even if there were I’m sure you can eat and remain alert simultaneously.”  

The guard picks a chair a few seats away and Loki has to hold in his grin. It will take more than that little space to free him from what Loki has in mind. The guard’s response to ‘Odin’s’ uncharacteristic behaviour is concern rather than suspicion, which comes exactly as Loki expected. He wonders how far he could push before that concern turns to doubt.

Loki gestures to the spread, “Eat.”

The guard at first places food on his plate tentatively and then, after a nod from Loki, with more enthusiasm.

Slicing into a cut of Bilgesnipe, Loki asks, “Your name?” 

“Halvor.”

“I have wondered about you often, Halvor. Whether all that has happened would have come to pass had you done as you should. Do you know of what I speak?”

“I’m afraid I do not your Grace.”

The man doesn’t babble out an apology as Loki expects him to, he’s both annoyed and impressed. He speaks casually, “On the day Thor was to be crowned, and they made move to journey to Jotunheim, Loki told you of this and ordered you to inform me so that I would stop Thor’s foolishness. You did not follow these orders. Tell me why?”

“I had to choose to betray either Prince Loki or Prince Thor. I had lost a brother in the war with Jotunheim, I did not wish to halt Prince Thor in his quest, nor did I think it was needed.”

Loki held in a sigh of disappointment, he thought it would be something that simple. But he had spent much time pondering it, this insignificant action that lead to the precipice of all that followed. He wanted it to be something more. A part of him suspects there is indeed more to it, but he isn’t one to dwell on what’s probably a figment of his desire. He does however note there’s no apology still. He suspects less out of defiance to Odin and more out of defiance to himself; to the idea that he would ever follow Loki’s orders when they countered Thor’s will.

“So your thirst for revenge lead you to allow the crown prince to go off on a quest that would likely lead to his death?”

“I had faith that Mjolnir would protect him.”

“Then you are a fool. And what of all that happened as a result?”

“It is unfortunate. But Loki would’ve discovered his true nature at some point. And now we have in Thor someone who is truly worthy of ruling the nine realms.”

Loki scrutinises Halvor, “How forward of you. A mere guard acting out of bloodlust, defying direct orders causing great turmoil to the realm you serve and yet you remain unrepentant.”  

Loki remains calm; it doesn’t matter now anyway, perhaps he should even be thanking the idiot. After all, he may never have learned of the Allfathers lies without his actions. And he most definitely would never have found himself seated on the throne of Asgard. But he still intends on playing with him, it’s only fitting punishment.

But first, he must guarantee his silence, his voice booms, in mimicry of Odin’s firm declarations, “I cannot have you speaking of what I plan to reveal to you; therefore I will cast a spell. You will speak no word of what is said or discovered here.”

 

*

_Loki keeps to the shadows and watches. There are groups of children pickpocketing, gangs brawling, stabbing, shooting, running illicit dealings in everything from drugs to people. And it’s all done out in the open, no one blinking at the happenings. He’s clearly in a den of criminality. But as Loki moves further and further through the place he only sees more of the same. He’s already suspecting when he hears for certain: It’s a land of outlaws, outcasts and criminals, where no law exists except for that the people exert on each other._

_Loki imagines the people back on Asgard would think he would fit right in here (his skillset definitely does). And he supposes in a way they’re right. He could easily thrive in a world reliant on wits and will. A world for outcasts. But his chaos is purposeful (yes, sometimes that purpose is fun). He believes worlds need good leadership, which is why he did his best to show the folly of letting Thor rule. He understands how hard it can be on the people when there are bad leaders. And he doesn’t like what he sees here; the strong taking advantage of the weak; the beggars and slaves._

_If he was in a better mood he may see the opportunity for him here. But he can’t be bothered. The people steal from each other, brutalising and killing each other in retaliation. There is no safe place, no secure place. It’s a scary reality. As much as Loki is used to fighting, to using his magic to protect himself and his friends and creating plans to keep them all safe. There’s only so much that plans can do in a place like this. Where any misstep could lead to someone killing you. And at the end of the day, despite all that Loki is, he is still a man raised as a prince. He’s used to coming home at the end of a quest to the safe secure luxury of the palace, to knowing that big mistakes will likely be solved by royal decree if Loki can extend their survival by a few minutes or hours or days._

_Here Loki is nothing. He is no one. He has to sleep sometime. And he is afraid._

 

*

 

Loki orders Halvor to sup with him again on the next eve.

“I ask a question of you, if only to gain information of what knowledge has reached the general population. What do you know of where The Aether is currently placed?”

Halvor shifts before speaking tentatively, “I have heard rumours.”

“And what do these rumours say?”

“The Aether has been moved off Asgard and placed in the safe-keeping of another.”

The dispersal of rumour was always a delicate balance. Loki smirks. “And what do you think of this?”

“It’s a wise course of action, having two infinity stones in Asgard is dangerous and it’s best anyone wanting to steal it doesn’t know its location.” 

“And if I was to say I have kept it here?”

“That is indeed a wise countermeasure. Ensuring we can keep it safe and that none know we have it.”

The pervasive belief in Asgard that Odin is always right serves Loki’s purposes well and he will enjoy using it to his full advantage. But it also holds a nostalgic frustration.

“And what if I was to say,” Loki pauses here, reaching inside a pocket dimension, and pulling out the red infinity stone, “I have it right here with me?”

Halvor’s eyes widen slightly but he stays on track, “It is wise for a king to keep such a thing in his possession, for protection of himself and the realm and to keep it away from the tesseract in the vault.”

Loki curtails the urge to laugh. Halvor’s belief seems sincere, but Loki gets the sense he’s being humoured. Yet there is nothing, not a hint, in Halvor’s expression which would indicate this. Loki senses that he’s smiling internally. Perhaps there’s more to the man than appears: a more interesting challenge.

And Loki’s whispers are spreading well. The plan is to collect all six infinity stones. So of course he makes it seem as though he’s given away the one that has just come into his possession. What better to throw off suspicion? Besides he’s wearing Odin’s face and the former Allfather would never keep two infinity stones in Asguard’s vault. 

 

*

_Loki becomes a petty thief, stealing what he needs. Doesn’t make any plans beyond basic necessities, he doesn’t care. Nothing feels worth the effort. He moves through the place, hollow. Half-hoping that he’ll be killed by one of his victims._

_He carries on this way for weeks, wandering aimlessly, carelessly taking what he needs. Until a theft is noticed._

_“Hey! Someone’s taken me bread!” the vendor yells; face red, ever ready to ring a neck._

_Loki is of course not within anyone’s sight._

_“It’s this one!” another yells, grabbing onto a young boy, “I’ve been trying to catch him at it all week.”_

_Loki recognises the child as one of this places regular pickpockets. He’s twice encountered him as they tried to steal from the same shop._

_“We should cut off his hand.”_

_“Yeah! That’ll teach you, won’t it.”_

_A knife is waved precariously. Loki sighs and steps forward. “It was me. Let him go.”_

_The vendors turn to him with confusion for several moments before their looks turn to ire and the boy is left to run off. The three men circle Loki. He stands still. At least now it will be over. A punch is thrown and Loki dodges, against his will. His instincts come alive almost without permission and he slides away from another attempted blow. Loki throws a punch, grabs a wrist, crashes one vendor into another. And fights briefly with the third, trading punches and kicks, it’s only a few short moves before Loki has him pinned._

_No one takes much notice. Good fighters are aplenty here and the vendors were lacking in skill. Loki hadn’t even had to show his real fighting skills, let alone his true power. But some are now aware of his existence. He’s still careless with his thievery and the next time people have their eye out for him and paid thugs to take Loki on. There are two of them, more skilled and experienced than the vendors, with spiked bats and knives._

_Loki ducks, punches, swivels, kicks. A blow grazes him. He rolls away, shakes it off and waits. Loki exerts a little more force, twisting and yanking, slides underneath with a stolen knife and lets out a river of red. The second thug, sweaty and riled, lunges at him. Loki side-steps. Bends back away from the second swing. And grabs the hilt, twists until the thug has to let go. Loki lands a final punch knocking him out._

*

On the third night Loki asks Halvor to his quarters. Loki had briefly considered waiting for Halvor to discover the truth for himself. To have the enticement of watching the other’s growing confusion turn to slowly dawning realisation and horror. But after contemplating their initial interactions he decides a quick reveal would be best. Relishing the shock it will induce. Both of them knowing the guard can reveal nothing under the spell. 

“I have something to show you,” Loki states, waiting until Halvor’s gaze is on him before removing the glamour. He grins. “Your crime was keeping silent. You doomed us. And now your punishment will be keeping silent. And you will doom all of Asgard, knowing who I am and helpless to stop me.”

Halvor stumbles to his feet in shock. “Why are you…no, this isn’t…you can’t be…”

Loki just smiles smugly.

Halvor has the good sense not to run at him. “You won’t get away with this!”

“Who is going to stop me? You are unable to communicate the truth to anyone. No one suspects. And even if they did, I am Odin Allfather: questioning me is an act of treason.”

 

*

_The thugs’ friends decide to teach Loki a lesson. There are a small handful of people watching this time. There’s a band of seven thugs. He beats them too. This starts to invite some attention and further fights. As Loki walks through the town he notices the people chattering and pointing at him.  A gang leader decides to put the fresh meat in his place, brings out the big guns. There’s a small army, all heavily armed, surrounding him._

_Loki ducks behind a car for cover. He forces himself to keep still as he makes a clone appear nearby._

_“Over there!”_

_He takes advantage of their shift in focus and acquires two guns. And then sends the clone behind a pillar out of sight. Loki reappears as his real self and ducks behind a stall. Waits as the gang members approach, breathes, prepares, measures their footsteps and stances from the sounds. He keeps low as bullets pepper the stall. Lifts his arm over the top. One. Two. Three shots. Three dead._

_He sends out a clone to draw fire and leads it to disappear down an alley. Some follow and some move to take the other end. Loki could slip away, but he won’t be safe unless he finishes this. When he’s sure no one is watching it, he lets it vanish._

_He has some time. Loki considers his odds. He needs to take the guns out of action. Spots a can of paint. Will spread rumours later that it’s a technologically advanced sealant. Weaves a spell to jam every gun. And anchors the paint to a crane._

_They spend a good few minutes banging their guns uselessly before discarding them. Loki’s much more comfortable with the array of glistening knives that come out._

_He dances around them, swift manoeuvres, leading them to accidentally stab each other, once, twice, thrice, four times. These dolts are worse than Thor. He curls into a ball, rolls away. Clashes his dagger against a knife. Parries every blow, ducking away from another behind him, whilst tripping a third._

_Everyone else on the street is cheering, chanting- ‘Loki! Loki! Loki!’_

_Loki looks over the remaining members. The numbers now more favourable, he strides into the middle and shows exactly what he can do._

*

“It’s been a few days; I thought perhaps you had tired of playing with me.”

Loki grins. “Oh, I’m only getting started. I’ve been away on a quest to acquire the next infinity stone: Travelling the secret paths, hiding in the shadows of Nova, sliding into its tiny forgotten spaces. Watching and waiting.”

Halvor’s expression is stoic. “You will not succeed.”  

“Hmm. Word has spread, every week more and more people go to Nova attempting to acquire The Orb. There are those who stand in the light declaring they will help Nova get back on its feet, remake their army, rebuild their city, and all they wish for in recompense is one small stone. There are those who stand in the dark, offering ridiculous sums of money, or power or lands. There are those who implore, claiming they have great need for it, to protect their world. There are those who threaten and blackmail and those who attempt to steal. To all Nova Prime levels them with a steely gaze and sternly firm she refuses.”

Halvor chuckles, smiling.

“What’s so amusing? Do you think I can’t do better than them?”

“Maybe I’m glad for your endless monologues giving me all this information. I will find a way to stop you.”

Loki snorts. “I welcome your attempts. They should be good for a laugh.”   

Halvor stares blankly. “Do continue.”

“I’ve invited her to Asgard,” Loki states, grinning. “For I’ve seen something none of them have: she, more than anything, wants to be rid of the thing.”

 

*

 

_Loki’s not just the latest flash-in-the-pan gossip anymore. By now he’s gaining a real reputation._

_(“You should join us. There are many benefits.”_

_“No, thank you.”_

_“It’s not a suggestion.”_

_Loki smirks. “This is the third recruitment attempt I’ve gotten today. Your predecessors would say otherwise.”)_

_The random wanderer who can fight brilliantly but who only seems to want to be a petty thief._

_(“Did you see it! Loki was amazing!”_

_“I know, I know, especially the bit where he went under and made those guys take each other out.”_

_“Loki! Hey, it’s Loki!”_

_There are fans constantly on his coat-tails, following, wanting to be near him, wanting a slice of his attention._

_Loki walks ahead of them, refusing to say anything.)_

_The champion who refuses to crow about or exalt his victories._

_(“Hey, we should make an alliance! It would be great. Let me buy you a drink.”_

_“Not interested.”)_

_The seemingly lonely man rebuffing all overtures of companionship._

_(“What do you need, I can make a lot happen, I have connections. I want to help you.”_

_“I have need of nothing.”)_

_The penniless man unwilling to accept offers of money or favours._

_And once more Loki is the strange one._

 

*

 

Loki orders for one of the feast tables to be readied for Nova Prime. Odin would use their most ostentatious cutlery and table-ware. But Loki chooses a still expensive but more modest option. He also chooses for it to be just the two of them, a more intimate setting but not too much so. He is careful to be charming and charismatic- it’s part of his being, the mask makes no difference. But he does understand that this older, different body requires slight changes in countenance. He moulds his charm accordingly.

“So how are things on Asgard?” Nova Prime asks.

Loki smiles wryly. “The dark elves caused much devastation. And any we reach out to for help will see it as a chance to take advantage of our weakness. But then it’s the job of us rulers to come up with solutions anyway is it not?”

Nova prime nods. “It is quite a thing, knowing who to trust. I get a message from these fugitives, these _criminals_ , claiming they want to help us fight an impending attack on our world. The message sounded like a bad joke. But I made the decision to trust them and it was the right one. We lost our entire fleet. They saved us.”

“I am sorry for your losses. It’s the burden of ruling no one appreciates; the weight of losses on your shoulders, from orders you had to give. But you must do what you must. You know, you remind me of my wife. She gave her life guarding The Aether.”  

“You have my condolences. I cannot imagine what that must be like.”

“Thank you. The decision of what to do with The Aether afterwards was the hardest. I regret my choice may’ve been the wrong one. Too clouded with grief. But the elves were dealt with and we are where we are.”

“You did find a solution then, for the rebuilding?”

“Oh yes. Of course conscription or extra taxation after events such as these is never ideal- especially as the people themselves are trying to recover from their losses. So I put in place a tax loan, the additional monies will, eventually, be paid back with a very good amount of interest.”

“Very generous of you.”

“I’m just trying to do what’s best for my people. I also increased taxation of the rich and reduced it for the poor.”

“An intriguing idea.”

“Would you believe that I got it from Midgard?”

“Terra does have a habit of being unexpectedly impressive. One of those saviour criminals I mentioned, he was from there. We ended up making them a space-ship. It was an extravagance we could hardly afford. But it was a mark of thanks that rallied the people. And let everyone else know we were still strong.”     

Loki smiles, nodding. “Sometimes the most counter-intuitive ideas are the best ones.”

“Hmm.”

When Nova Prime is finished with the last course Loki stands and holds his hand out deferentially. “Would you allow me the honour of showing you around the palace?”

“That would be lovely.”  

Loki guides her down the magnificent halls, pointing out details he deems will be of interest to her, eventually leading to showing her the vault, and the intricacy of the wards guarding the tesseract.

“It is an intriguing set up you have here. These are quite impressive.” 

“It wouldn’t take too much effort to install similar wards around The Orb, I would gladly do so as an act of good faith between our two peoples.” As well protected as it is they both know men and metal isn’t enough to keep a thing such as it secure forever.

“Do you think I don’t know this is a ploy?”

“I would expect nothing less.”

“Still, I will allow it. If only because you’re the only one who offered to keep it safe.”

Loki nods. “We all understand the power to be had. Very few understand the burden.”

Nova Prime nods, face sombre. “And you believe you can keep it safe?”

“Just as I have The Tesseract and The Aether.”

“Very well. I will leave it here in your keeping.”

“I’m glad of your trust.”

“You and I are similar. Which also means I know how conniving you can be. I think you still underestimate me though. Do not make me regret this.”

 

*

 

_Loki sits in his hovel and hunches in on himself. (There are plenty willing to give him a lavish hotel room or even a mansion. Hels, he could probably get someone to give him a ship and ride to Asgard. But he wants nothing to do with any of it. It’s safer here. Inconspicuous. Invisible). The truth is- he’s tired. For all he may seem aloof and impressively unbeatable, the constant fights have taken a toll on him physically. And the stress of being constantly watched and tailed and talked at has rendered him mentally exhausted._

_Worst of all are the attempts at alliances, the tries at garnering favour. They all want him for what he can do, not who he is. It’s just like Asgard. Again he’s only cared about as a tool to be used. His heart still heavy from the revelations of his true birth and all that followed is made heavier still. Maybe this is all he will ever have. He no longer has the energy to fight it._

 

*

 

Loki holds up The Orb. “Another infinity stone in my possession.”

Halvor’s face remains blank, stoic. “Impressive.”

“I would say you hide your horror well. But it seems you’re not horrified at all.”

“Maybe I’m just resigned. As you said, there’s nothing I can do.”

Loki narrows his eyes, he can find no lie there, nevertheless, “No. That’s not it.”

Halvor smiles slightly. “Perhaps I’ve realised that your plans aren’t nearly as nefarious as you would have me believe.”

Loki laughs. “Ah I see. Your desperation has rendered you delusional.”     

“You care more about Asgard than you will admit, maybe even to yourself.”

Loki keeps his grin in place. But the words feel like a punch.

 

*

 

_Another band of people come after him, more powerful, more organised. Clearly hired guns. They move quick and precise in military formations. These are true warriors._

_Loki takes a breath and sends a spell to jam their guns. And they discard them without a care. He makes an illusion to vanish their blades. But the weight is still there and they discover the ruse quickly._

_Loki moves quickly, spinning and stabbing and kicking. Loki fights off two men, but another behind him slices into his arm. Loki rolls away to regroup. The arm hurts but he can still use it. He continues fighting. Takes out four men but receives several bruises and a bump on the head in return. He stands, shaking slightly. He carries on though, there’s no other choice. He trades blows with two others. A dagger is plunged into his thigh. Loki falls. He watches as an axe swings towards his head. And rolls out of range at the last second. He pants. There are too many of them. It’s overwhelming._

_He ducks into a small hole between buildings. Loki’s reluctant to make a show of clones, subterfuge is so much easier when the enemy doesn’t know one can clone themselves. But needs must. He sends out several clones into the battle. And stays in the shadows while the fighters dispatch them looking for him. Loki sends four warriors careening off edges or into walls. He throws daggers from the shadows. And when they chase he sets a clone in front of him so they think it’s yet another misdirect._

_And leads them to right where he wants. Loki bottlenecks them so he can cut down one at a time. This goes on for several minutes. Until they finally sound the retreat._

 

*

Loki has suspected that the guard is hiding something for a while. But now thinks he isn’t at all who he says he is. Perhaps his reasons for not telling the Allfather are darker and more dangerous. Perhaps he’s not Asgardian at all. If he is lying, he lies well, has purported shock and horror and wanting to find a way out sliding into weary resignation all just the right way. And yet, Loki knows a fellow liar when he sees one.

He attempts to speak to him about the work that’s being done, the reparations in the aftermath. To eke out some background information on Halvor, what he knows, who he knows, who his family is, who he is.

“I tire of talking about myself. Tell me about your family.”

“I have no family. It’s just me.”

“And you have always been a guard?”

“For a long time now.”

“What do you want?”

“Maybe we want the same things.” 

Loki hides his frustration. But he needs to know the truth. He cannot afford anyone interfering with his plans. And he knows well not to underestimate what someone is capable of. Especially this one with his strange insights. Perhaps it’s time for some magical assistance. He lets his power run colourful over the room, making a show of it. Before it circles towards Halvor.

Then Halvor reaches his hand out and the magic stops. Just falls away.

It takes a lot of effort for Loki to not let his shock show on his face. And he supresses his initial urge to react aggressively to the obvious threat, to fight, assault, throw more magic. But he stays calm. Stands his ground. Halvor makes no further move.

Loki asks, “Who are you?”

Halvor smiles. “A friend.”

 

*

_Loki learns that the person the warriors worked for was known as The Collector. He thought Loki was unique and wanted him as a slave for his collection. No one had ever managed to resist The Collector before._

_The loud gossip turns to whispers and odd looks and averted eyes. There are no further attempts at alliances or garnering him favour. No one follows him and most leave quickly when he nears. The people are scared._

_He’s unsure whether they’re more afraid of Loki, the target on his back, or Taneleer Tivan._

_He knows he needs to be more careful. Searches an apple before biting into it and spots a needle mark. Poison. A sedative likely. He creates an illusion of biting into the apple and walks home._

 

*

Loki keeps Halvor close at hand, if only to keep an eye on him. The guard, who has refused to reveal anything further, seems happy to act as though things are as usual.

“I have Thor and his lackeys searching for The Mind Stone now. Can you imagine his face when he discovers he sought out and handed over the stone to me?”

Halvor nods, donning a pleased expression. “I’m picturing that look of bad constipation.”

Loki sends him a sharp glare. “Do not think me a fool. I will not fall for these friendly overtures.”  

Halvor raises his hands, placating. “I’m only agreeing. It will make a good sight.”

Loki narrows his eyes. “Hmm.”

 

*

_Loki’s wakes to one of The Collector’s men standing over him ready to plunge a syringe into his neck. His wards should’ve alerted him. Too close, they’ve gotten too close. They’ve disabled his magic with a magic dampening field, which means no wards and no spell-work. He struggles against the man, eventually pushing the needle into his arm._

_“Plan B.”_

_The room fills with noxious smoke. Loki holds cloth over his face, reaching to escape through the window. But he’s too dizzy and his movements too sluggish. He paws at the latch. Falls. Loki closes his eyes and everything fades away._

*

When Loki discovers what has come to pass he allows himself only a few wild moments of anger before summoning Stark to him.

“Welcome Tony Stark of Midgard. I have asked you here today to discuss acquisition of the mind stone.”

Loki makes Odin’s voice loud and booming. He intones the entire conversation with less charm than he would like. But Stark is close to Thor. And he can’t risk Thor hearing an account of Odin acting so similar to Loki.

“Not interested,” Tony says.

“Have you forgotten that the reason you even have the mind stone is that I tasked Thor with retrieving it. You have done what you wished with it, almost destroying Midgard in the process. It’s time for it to be returned to its rightful place, where it’s safe.”

“Rightful place? How do you figure that?”

“The staff is Loki’s, Loki is of Asgard. Therefore it is rightfully ours.”

Stark snorts. “From what I hear Loki stole it. As far as safe, it’s safe as can be. In someone even your precious hammer considers worthy. And I don’t think he’s going to be too keen on parting with it.”

“What he wants is irrelevant. He is your subordinate, your creation. He will do as you tell him to.”

Stark lets out a bark of laughter. “Here’s what you don’t get. On earth we have this thing called free will. If you want to get the stone you’ve got to speak to Vision. And good luck with that!”

“You make big mistakes Stark. But you are a smart man. You do not make them twice. I know you are capable of controlling The Vision. Even if the being himself doesn’t know it.”

Tony narrows his eyes, staring straight at him. And for a moment Loki feels that he’s looking straight through his Odin mask, into Loki. But then the moment breaks.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about. Even if I could control Vision, I wouldn’t.”

“There is much you do not understand. It needs to be here.”

“Yeah, does that shtick ever really work for you? Thor seems to think it’s fine where it is.”

“There is much that Thor too doesn’t understand.”

Tony rolls his eyes. “Look, you’ve asked. I’ve said no. I’m not going to change my mind. I’m stubborn like that. So we’re done here.”

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Loki lets his placid expression sink into a frown as he enters the dining room. He has just left his fourth attempt at negotiating with Stark. A part of him considers going to The Vision himself. But he knows that too would be fruitless. And taking it by force would likely start a war that Loki doesn’t have time for.

“Still unable to get Stark to give you the mind stone?” Halvor asks.

Loki waves the question away, “It’s a matter of time.”

“You don’t believe that.”

“Stark is exceedingly stubborn.”

“Hmm. Odin is not going to be able to convince him. Loki might though.”

Loki laughs. “So that’s your play. Convincing me to reveal myself?”

“It’s that or let your plan fall to pieces. You can always spell him in the way you’ve spelled me if you need to. You have little other choice.”

“And you think revealing that instead of being the king Thor trusts and follows, I’m the brother who betrayed him and invaded Midgard will make Stark more likely to agree.”

“Stark doesn’t trust Odin. He knows there’s more to the story and that he’s being lied to. Reveal yourself, tell him the truth of your plans. He’s maybe one of the only ones who will understand the need for them.”

Loki considers it at length. Whatever Halvor’s motives are he makes a good point.

*

_Loki stands before The Collector, head not bowed but also not so high as to be defiant. He is still, takes in his surroundings, weighs his options. Sees one slave bound and tortured and another working without any restraints. Whatever he chooses to do, it will be easier if he doesn’t fight._

_“Welcome. I am The Collector. You now belong to me. You will serve me well and work hard obeying my every order or there will be…undesirable consequences.” The Collector gestures to the tortured slave._

_“I understand,” Loki states._

 

*

“Given the grave importance of the situation. I’ve decided now is not the time for pretence.” Loki waves imperiously, bathing himself in an incandescent glow which reveals his true visage. He nervously awaits a response, careful not to tense.

“Huh,” Tony says.

“You don’t seem surprised.”

“It takes a lot to surprise me Reindeer Games. That you would pretend to be Odin to steal the throne isn’t one of them.”

“Does Thor suspect?”

Tony snorts. “Of course not, he’s Thor. What was I going to say ‘sorry for your loss, your story sounds like bullshit’.”

Loki raises an eyebrow. “And will you tell him now that your suspicions are confirmed?”

Stark shrugs. “You’ve been ruling Asgard well. I suspect it’s not entirely just about maintaining the ruse.”

“You’re just saying that so I don’t jumble your brains before you leave.”

Stark grins. “Probably.”

“There is a threat to all of us coming. You have seen it. With my powers and the Allfathers command I am in the best position to combat it. I need the infinity stones to do so.”

“Yeah, still not giving it up.”

“What are your plans for combating the threat now that you had to destroy your metal army?”

“With The Avengers. You know, the guys who kicked your ass. And do you seriously think I’ve forgotten that you were working with said threat.”

“No. I expect you remember quite clearly. That is why you also know that you and I are the only ones who understand the gravity of what’s coming. No man knows there is no peace to be found better than the one who seeks it out. I know what you have been going through as I too have been going through it. Spending every waking hour with your mind on what’s coming, plotting and planning and building. And knowing it may not be enough.” 

Stark shakes his head, resigned. “Fuck. We’ll lose together.”

“Excuse me?”

“That’s what Cap said, when I said we’d lose. Like loss was acceptable. No one gets what this loss will mean.”

“I do.”

“You know I still can’t give you the stone.” Stark at least sounds tired this time, like he’s giving up a chance.

And Loki uses that, pushes. “Well we should work together then.”

Stark grins, feral. “Let me think about it.” 

*

_Loki spends his time doing The Collector’s bidding. Tending to the strange pets, plants and antiques in the man’s collection. It’s simple work, but it’s quiet, peaceful. Days slip into weeks. Loki knows he should be formulating plans, but he’s so tired. His mind keeps fixating on Asgard, on the pointlessness of it all. He has given his everything for so long and gotten nothing in return. He just needs a rest. He’s spent a thousand years at the onerous behest of Thor and in some ways this is similar. His schemes can wait a while. He will make a plan to leave another day._

_Another day stretches to another and another. Months pass. The Collector can be cruel but as time goes on he’s increasingly impressed with Loki’s skills. As Loki gains more value to him he also gains more kindness and trust. Until eventually he’s given a mission outside: to steal a unique device, a weapon of sorts._

_He’s to have a partner on this heist and is disheartened to discover it’s the pick-pocket kid he saved during his first weeks on Knowhere. It seemed he only saved his life to leave him in The Collectors grasp._

_“What’s your name?” Loki asks as they case the building._

_“Rolo. You should take me with you when you escape. I know all the towns, every back alley, every abandoned building. You need me.”_

_“I’m not escaping.”_

_“What do you mean you’re not escaping? I won’t be a problem I swear!”_

_“I can’t escape. I have no magic. The Collector has me cuffed with dampeners and has ensured I can’t break said dampeners myself.”_

_“So what! You don’t need your magic. You’re Loki!”_

_“I’m not who you think I am kid.”_

*

Loki enters to see Halvor with his feet up on the table.

“See. I’m just working in your best interests,” Halvor says, smirking.

“So it appears.”

“You don’t believe me.”

“If our positions were reversed, would you?”

“Maybe not. You think you will outwit me.”

“Hmm. There are few who can best me.”

“Let me assure you there’s no need for besting. There’s no game here. I am on your side.”   

*

_After that first successful mission, him and Rolo are often sent off together to steal some rare object or another. They make a brilliant team and Loki is growing fond of the kid. Despite his constant attempts at getting Loki to escape with him. It was wearing him thin though and the words seemed more enticing every day._

_“Haven’t you ever wanted anything more?” Rolo asks._

_“I did, for a long time, but it all turned out worthless.”_

_“I guess I never got the chance to try. I’m just going to do this every day, until I either get caught and killed by an irate store owner or fail and get killed by Tivan.”_

_“You’re being awfully manipulative today.”_

_“Is it working?”_

_Loki rolls his eyes. “I suppose I too still want more from life than this. Okay, let’s escape.”_

_“Really?”_

_“Yes really.”_

_“Now, first you will need to get me some things to get these dampeners off.”_

*

It’s two days later when Stark comes to him again.

“I have conditions.”

Loki nods. “Go ahead.”

“You tell me everything. All of what’s going on. Everything you know about the enemy. All the plans and back up plans you’ve made. And the potential risks and outcomes as you see them. Any lies and the deals off, do not pass Go do not collect a mind stone.”

“Reasonable enough. Of course, I would demand the same in return.”

“I will tell you what you need to know.”

“That hardly seems fair.”

“I’m not the one with a history of backstabbing and world take-overs. You’re the one who wants me on board. These are my terms.”

Loki sighs. “You need me more than I need you. I can take the stone by force. But the scuffle would waste time and resources earth can’t afford to expend at this time.”

“I’m guessing Asgard can’t afford to expend them either. I’ll tell you most things. I still plan on having contingencies in place in case you go rogue.”

“Fine. What else?”    

“The Mind Stone stays in my possession at all times. You don’t hold it. You don’t touch it. You don’t even look at it funny. And when this is over it goes back to Vision.”

“Hmm. I would say the same regarding the stones in my possession, except the plan may have need of you handling them and I do not believe you could take them off me unless I allowed you to. So I would ask, in exchange, that you do not reveal or attempt to reveal my identity to anyone.”

Stark nods. “Only because you being in a prison cell would be inconvenient. I’m having something set up to tell everyone when it’s over though. And I’ll make sure that message gets through even if I’m bumped off.”

 

*

_Once Loki makes the decision to actually escape, the plan comes together quickly. They work while Tivan is asleep, swiftly and with purpose, focusing on making the dampeners ineffective and ensuring their escape will go unnoticed for a good few hours. It’s during their next mission that they make their escape. It succeeds and they get away. To the next town over and then the next after that._

_Days slide into each other. The Collector is constantly on their tail. They live on the run, going from place to place. He shows Rolo how to stay hidden, how to steal better. And Rolo shows him every nook and cranny and escape route. The boy’s company is worthwhile. But the mundane litany of journeying constantly, doing little else than sleeping and eating and moving once more is tiresome. He’s just waiting for slavery. He’s just waiting for death. And yet he has no motivation to change their course of action. It’s not like they have much of a choice anyway._

_Rolo asks one day, “What happened to escaping because you wanted something more?”_

_“We’re out here free aren’t we? What more did you expect?”_

_“I expect you to actually do something. To use all those skills of yours to get The Collectors people off our backs!”_

_“You need to learn to have more realistic expectations kid.”_

_“You can do it. I know you can and you know you can. You’re better than this. You’re amazing! And all we’re doing now is the same as before, existing, surviving, going from one day to the next.”_

_Loki stills, admits quietly, “The thing is surviving is all I have it in me to do.”_

_The sun rises on another day. They’re packed again. Loki sits on the wall thinking of where they will head next. Rolo takes a seat next to him._

_“You know my pa was really down for a long time. I think it went on so long that he forgot that it wasn’t normal to feel that way. He forgot that it was possible to feel any other way. I tried to help him, but he didn’t believe anything could change. I would go to this lady- she was kind of a doctor. She’d say I couldn’t help him until he wanted to be helped. She’d also say there’s only so far a man can run from himself.”_

_“What happened to him?”_

_“He killed himself.”_

_“Sorry kid. You know it wasn’t your fault.”_

_“I know. I’m just sick of seeing you do the same.”_

_“I’m not…”_

_“Stop it! Stop lying to me!”_

_Loki sighs. “The state I’m in, I doubt even Asgard’s mind healers could help me.”_

_“Will you at least try, for me?”_

_Loki nods. “So I’m guessing this kind of doctor of yours is nearby?”_

_Rolo grins. “Yep.”_

*

 

Loki is surprised by Tony’s presence in the small dining room. And reminds himself not to forget the man’s resourcefulness.

Tony stands opposite, head held in defiance. “So, the plan?”

“Having the infinity stones is a boon but it’s not enough. We will still need all we have. I will bring together armies from all over the nine realms, and beyond that too.”

Tony rolls his eyes. “Of course you will. And I suppose you think I should make a bunch of remote armours to help you.” 

“That would definitely be useful. We will need to spend much time working together to plan and train and ready ourselves to fight together in the war to come. You should stay here on Asgard.”

“If I’m going to make said army of iron man armour, I’ll need to be back in my workshop. You know, on earth.”

“As you wish. Alternatively I could create you a workshop here and give you access to technology and materials far more advanced than anything you’ve seen.”

Loki could see Tony brighten at that. But not giving in that easy. “And how do I know you won’t just commandeer them when I’m done?”

“We both know you’re capable of rendering them unusable by anyone other than yourself.”

“Yeah, except, you know, magic.”

“If I betray you, I’m gaining some powerful soldiers but losing one of the most powerful stones in existence. Besides which, our alliance is important. Neither of us can defeat Thanos alone.” 

“Fine. But I still need to be in regular contact with earth. And they need to be able to contact me if I’m needed.” 

“Of course. Let me show you a space where you can work. I will ready it to meet any requirements you have.”

 

*

_Loki talks to the doctor for what seems like an age. It’s uncomfortable. She gives him a draught to take daily and encourages him to take things one day at a time. And it feels too much like a life-line for Loki’s peace of mind. He knows it’s not that simple._

_After a few days Loki can feel the draught helping, and so are the ideas, the reframing of things. He needs to start small, but there’s no space for that here. When everything’s in the balance and the stakes are far too high._

_“I know we need to stop running and face the enemy. But it’s too big, it’s too much; such a large chasm to breach. I can’t.”_

_“So start with one little thing,” Rolo says, “Let’s get some resources.”_

_Loki nods. “Yeah. That sounds good. One thing at a time.”_

*

 

Loki grins like a shark as he re-enters the little dining room after settling Tony into his new workshop. “Stark is off doing my bidding. Now I just need to find the Time Stone.”

Halvor holds the green infinity stone out to him. “I found it in a quaint Midgardian monastery.”

Loki startles, asking again, “Who are you?”

The guard grins a very special grin and Loki knows before he even transforms. In a matter of seconds he’s staring at himself. There are many questions he needs to ask, he just says,

“Explain.”

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

“I came back in time to change things. In my time, I told the guard to fetch Odin, as you did. And the guard did his duty and informed the Allfather. We were stopped before we could set foot on Jotenheim, as we should have been and father postponed the coronation, recognising that Thor wasn’t ready. The problem however remained, Thor stayed in his same position in Asgard and there was nothing to force him to grow or change. Eventually father fell into a permanent Odinsleep and ready or not Thor was made king.”

“It was a disaster.”

“Yes, it was. At first all rejoiced, joining him eagerly at every battle he charged into. But soon his foolhardy decisions began to catch up to him. He did not take enough care of any issues that couldn’t be resolved in his mind with a fight and chose war over diplomacy every time. There was much death and despair. And soon the realm lost its faith in him. Worse still, he began to lose faith in himself. He became a mere echo of his former self, turning to me for every decision. I advised him as well as I could, but the realm was too far gone and without anyone strong enough to guide it. I realised the only way to save the realm was to change things from long ago. So I retrieved the Time Stone, I journeyed back in time by a millenium, and I made sure I was the guard you told to get Odin.”

Loki considers Old Loki’s words. He thinks of the other Loki as Old Loki in his head, mainly because it makes him feel better. In truth his other self has aged well, if he really is a thousand years older there are only a few extra lines to show for it. But appearances aren’t everything, looking back many of his interactions with ‘Halvor’ make sense now, but other things are wrong in their place.

Loki muses, “You seem very different to me.”

“You have lived the last thousand years with many listening to Thor and ignoring you. I have lived the last thousand years with it very much the other way around.”

 

*

_“So let’s go steal the stuff we need,” Rolo says._

_Loki smiles, “Not so quick. There’s a smarter way than scrabbling for scraps, especially with our talents. We can make people give us what we want.”_

_And that’s how they end up having a lunch with one of the casino heads and getting their first job to steal from a rival casino._

_“So we’re still going to steal stuff.”_

_“Yes, but we’re going to be paid handsomely to do so.”_

_Loki pulls off the heist with his usual flair._

_Word spreads quickly that Loki is now in the professional thievery business. And with the help of his previous reputation he quickly begins to form a client base. The weeks pass and as the number of successfully completed jobs pile up, more and more people want to hire him. In a world such as this, everyone is in need of a good thief. And Loki is the very best._

 

*

 

Loki can’t help but be caught up in Tony’s enthusiasm as he figures out different ideas for integrating the new materials into his armours.

“This is amazing.”

Loki knows Tony’s talking mainly to himself but he can’t help but add, “A little magic could make it more so.”

Tony’s eyes narrow for a moment but then he grins, and says as though doing Loki a boon, “Okay then, only for some of them.”

Loki grins in turn.

They spend several hours together working on a variety of different weaponry: each item more ingenious than the last. It’s surprisingly fun.

 

*

 

_Rolo waves the accounts book in his face “Look at how much we’ve got! It’s amazing.”_

_Loki smiles. “Only getting started. We need to put the prices up.”_

_“Again? I didn’t think people would pay this much.”_

_“Yes, they will pay more. Trust me.”_

_Rolo nods. “Okay, then maybe things will slow down a bit. We don’t want to get worn out.”_

_Loki narrows his eyes. “You don’t seem tired.”_

_Rolo shrugs. “I just want to make sure you take care of yourself.”_

_Loki sighs. “I’m fine. I’m taking the draughts and still talking regularly with the healer woman. And this is good, I have a goal and I’m working towards it.”_

 

*

 

Loki finds his older self still in the same dining hall. “We should tell Stark about you.”

“You’re jesting.”

“I’m not.”

“This is because I made you reveal yourself isn’t it.”

Loki smirks. “Not at all.”

“This is a terrible idea.”

“Probably.”

It’s a risk definitely, especially so early into his and Stark’s alliance. But Loki knows well by now how lies can come back to haunt at the most inopportune moments. And he did promise to tell Stark what was going on. Besides having Stark know will make it far easier for Loki to keep an eye on both of them at the same time.

 

*

_Loki forms good alliances, a quid pro quo of protecting each other and working together, sharing information, watching each other’s backs. And after a while he begins to build, many wish to join his ranks. He picks only those with good heart and trains them to be the best.  He teaches them his ways, makes them follow his rules. They are everywhere, powerful, and integrated into the network of this world. They are the best thief syndicate in this place. And they have the favour of many powerful clients._

_The Collector can’t touch him._

_But more than that: they all protect each other, look after each other. Supposedly for the good of the business, Loki begins looking after his apprentices’ families too. And somehow their little den becomes a quasi-Robin Hood operation, like the old Midgard tales. They protect and look after the down-trodden, the outcasts, and the people who have no place here. And somehow, reluctantly, they become a sort of family._

_Loki finally belongs, finally has a purpose._

 

*

 

Loki enters the room Tony’s working in, wasting no time he spills out, “As a show of good faith. There’s someone you should meet.”

An older Loki steps out of the shadows.

Tony stares. “Oh you have got to be kidding me!”

“No, he is unfortunately real. This person has brought us the time stone, he claims to be a version of myself from some alternate future. But he could be anyone really, he has the ability to glamour.” Loki is already certain it is his future self, but Stark doesn’t need to know that.

“Are you testing me? Is this a test?”

“What would that possibly serve? No, it’s not a test.”

Tony wipes a hand over his face. “Okay, I, uh, need some time.” 

 

*

 

_Loki’s happy. He’s doing good, helping the only way this place will take it. But there’s a natural push and pull in this world of criminals. And with power comes enemies. There are several who try to kill Loki, and he has to kill them in turn. He holds onto power. Dismisses anyone he disagrees with. But so many want more from him. He refuses until they start threatening his family and he can’t ignore them anymore. He can’t murder them in an obvious fashion- that would only invite war. He forms a strategy; he must be quick and silent, taking out his enemies systematically without anyone knowing he’s drawn blood._

 

*

 

Tony gathers them two days later with his response, turning to Old Loki, he says, “Okay I’m going to need to have the same deal with you.”

Loki interrupts before Old Loki can reply, “No, there’s no deal. We don’t need one. He’s not going to be in this plan, this isn’t a collaboration. We don’t need him. And if we do he can do what we tell him and that’s it.”

“Wow, a shrink would have a field day with you. Do you think I’m happy about this? I’m not. But like you said, the universe is at stake here and we can use all the help we can get.”

Old Loki gives him a smug knowing look, “I would be honoured to join your team.”

Loki considers protesting further, but reluctantly acquiesces.   

 

*

 

Old Loki is off garnering support and forming alliances. As much as it irks Loki he has to admit that his other self has spent the past millennium doing this and is in the best position to do it. And at least he isn’t around to bother him.

He spends his time with Tony, coming up with stratagems. And creating armour and tools. And reading books that might hold useful information. Alright, so he could read alone, but the other makes for good company.

 

*

 

One day Loki sees his older self with Tony and it causes an unnameable feeling to coil in his gut.

“You shouldn’t trust him,” Loki says.

“And you think I trust you?” Tony replies.

“He’s not from this time; we can’t trust him to have this realities best interests at heart.”

“But hasn’t what he’s done already changed the future completely? So his reality doesn’t even exist anymore. This is all he’s got.”

“True. But you still need to be more careful.”

“Look, we don’t need to trust each other. But we do need to get along. So we can, you know, actually save the world without fucking it up. That’s what I’m doing. And you should too. I get that it’s weird, but you have to stop avoiding yourself.”

Loki sighs. “Very well, I will try.”

 

*

 

_Loki feels sick as he commits his first murder. He’s killed before, sure, but not like this, never like this. He’s an assassin now. Needs must. That’s what this place, his new home, needs of him. He’s changing things. He’s doing something with purpose again._

_Assassination is added to the list of what their group does, along with stealing and protection and the reacquisition of kidnapped peoples. But their targets are chosen far more carefully, only the ones whose deaths will help this place._

 

*

 

It’s a day like any other, nothing particular to note, as usual him and Tony have spent it together, working. Then suddenly Tony leans towards him, a lascivious smile on his face and a dangerous spark in his eyes, intent clear.

Loki takes care not to show his surprise, “What game are you playing?”

“No game. You’re hot. I’m hot. We’re probably both going to die during this. Might as well have some fun before it all goes down.”

“Do not think you will be able to use this to sway me.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Loki grins. “Then you may proceed.”

 

*

 

“Wow.” Tony would probably come up with a silvertongue joke if he was capable of coherency at the moment.

Loki smiles, also too hazy to form sentences.

Once they regain their senses, there isn’t any discussion of the change to their relationship beyond a simple exchange:

“So again?”

“Of course.”

 

*

 

When old Loki sees them, he looks at them with amusement, says, “Well, isn’t this interesting.” And promptly goes back to what he’s doing.

They fuck often. It’s fun, a good distraction. Loki spends all his time in Tony’s lab. And a lot of nights post-festivities in Tony’s bed. He tells himself it’s just the relief of having someone he doesn’t have to hide himself from. Or the relief of no longer being alone.

 

*

 

Loki watches Old Loki. He no longer actively avoids him but is still reluctant to spend time with him outside of when it’s necessary for planning.

Old Loki knows he’s there of course. “It’s quite a thing, isn’t it, to rule.”

Loki nods. “Yes. It is.” He leaves it at that, he has little interest in a battle of wits with himself. 

 

*

 

The three of them stand, looming over a map.

“I could create a spell…” Old Loki says.

Loki looks at his older self with thinly veiled disdain. “No, you’re not doing this.”

“What’s wrong?” Tony asks.

Old Loki is the one who replies, “He’s scared of me.”

Loki glares for a moment. “Are you finished speaking nonsense? Can we get back to the plan.”

 

*

 

“What’s your problem?” Tony asks later.

“I don’t have a problem. I just have no interest in letting him railroad our plans.”

“Are you jealous? Don’t worry I’m not going to leave you for older you.”

“Funny.”

“Well, what is it?”

“None of your concern.”

 

*

 

Loki tells himself it isn’t. But then one day, several weeks later, he finds himself saying,

“Feel free to think me addled, but somewhere along the way I may’ve started caring about you.”

And he can’t lie to himself anymore.

Tony says, “Don’t think you’ll be able to use this to get the mind stone.”

Loki’s hurt for a moment before he realises Tony’s joking, wonders how they got here from when those words would’ve held weight to them, he replies amused, “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

 

*

 

Loki doesn’t know why he feels the need to tell Tony these things. Maybe because he knows Tony can’t tell anyone. But one night he starts speaking and it all comes spilling out.

“For the longest time I didn’t know what I was here for, what my purpose was after everything I thought I was, was rendered moot. I was just a tool. And I needed to believe so hard that I could be more than that. That I could do something. And this, this was the one thing I could do, I could save the world. And I would be worth something then. This, the whole point of everything I went through, it would be worth something. But now he’s here and he can do everything I can, but better. And I think, why am I even here? Am I even needed. And I can’t go back. I need this win.”

Tony’s silent for a long time before he speaks. “I get it. But let me tell you something, you are the opposite of worthless. The fact that you’re even comparing yourself to yourself is ridiculous. But putting that aside, you’re strong and amazing and you’ve already won. You turned Thor into the great king that this place needs, at your own cost. That guy he stood by and let Thor become the worst king ever just so he could look good. Which do you think is better?”

“That’s rather irrelevant now, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, he’s good at all that diplomatic crap and we need him. But we also need you. You’ve seen darkness and you’ve come out the other side. You know how to fight for survival like everything’s on the line because you’ve already been there: we need those skills and we need that strength.”

“It’s hard, to look at yourself from the outside and see someone you recognise completely and don’t recognise at all. He gave up, decided to tear it all down and start again. I gave up once and I don’t want to go back there. I can’t still be doing this, still trying to fix everything, in a thousand years. I’m not scared of him- I’m scared of becoming him. I’m scared the darkness never truly leaves.”

Tony’s eyes darken for a moment. “It doesn’t. I don’t think. You’re going to have days where you feel worthless. But your personhood doesn’t depend on being able to prove that you’re worthy of being a person. And I’m going to be here to remind you whenever you forget. There are always going to be bad days, but hopefully, over time, there are fewer of them.”

Loki gives his love a sad smile. “Thank you Tony.”  

 

*

 

Loki strides into the next planning session with intent, addressing his older self, “I think this supposed to be the point at which I have some grand epiphany about my identity and loving myself. That’s not going to happen. I still dislike you. But I suppose I’m willing to try harder to actually work with you.”   

Old Loki nods. “Very well, shall we begin?” 

“We can shapeshift them into versions of ourselves, make them turn on each other,” Loki says.

Old Loki adds, “And shapeshift ourselves into them, add further to the confusion.”   

Loki smirks. “And maybe turn the rest of them into various animals, for good measure.”

“Pulling memories from their minds would disorient them and tell us their weaknesses.”

“Yes and if we also send clones to where they’re talking we can overhear their plans.”

Tony gives him a wordless pat on the back. And he finds a strange joy filling him.

 

*

 

_Loki has become a big name in this place, far more so than previously. He has his own little empire, has never failed to retrieve what needs retrieving or kill whoever needs killing. He is important now, has status and power and is in charge of a large swathe of the goings on in Knowhere. It’s been many months since he’s had to worry about The Collector. But now he’s on par with him._

 

*

 

“So you ever going to tell me the whole story?” Tony asks.

“What are you talking about?”

“Look, it’s cool if you don’t want to, I get it.”

“No. I think I should…It started when I fell from the byfrost…”

 

*

 

_And so, when Thanos wants someone to retrieve The Tesseract, Loki’s is the first name on the list._

_Loki knows he could refuse, Thanos is dangerous, but Loki has enough of a power base to do so. And he doesn’t want to leave, he’s finally got everything he’s wanted and needed and there’s no reason to go back._

_But he also knows that the good that he’s done here will mean nothing if the whole universe burns._

_And so, Loki agrees to play and resolves to start the game again, as much as it terrifies him; alone and from the beginning._

 

*

 

“We have five infinity stones. But Thanos still has the soul stone; it’s the most powerful and capable of usurping all the other stones powers for its own. So if we’re going to take down Thanos, the element of surprise is vital. He can’t know we have the stones. We all know what’s at stake here and there’s only one way to ensure we succeed. We have to use the time stone to create a time loop. If we create one that will keep resetting time if we lose, and we are the only ones aware of the reset. We can be certain that we will win eventually.”

“Why do I have a feeling I really don’t like the but here.”

“The only way to ensure Thanos can’t break the loop is to ensure we can’t break the loop either. The only way out is us winning. We could be trapped for years, decades, centuries even.”

“Except as time will be reset, we won’t age. We could very well be trapped living the same stretch of days for all of eternity.”

Tony grins, says, “You trying to get the mind stone again? Not happening.”

Loki grins back and replies, “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

 


End file.
